Relationship Advice: Is watching porn considered cheating?


Holy WOW this is ALL OVER the relationship advice forums!! So many opposing views on this topic.


The ultimate question is "Is watching porn considered cheating?"


As with a lot of different scenarios, it depends. There are so many different variations of porn: videos, cam people, pay sites, phone operators, magazines, erotica, etc. It all depends on the INTENTION of the porn watching.


First, let's take a look at your own values. Do you value integrity and honesty? How do you value your relationship? How do you value your own needs and/or your partners needs? Do you value religion/religious rules and teachings?


Next, let's take a look at the intentions behind the use of porn. There's the quick 'wham bam thank you ma'am' release, there's the communication with the cam people, there's emotional connection with sexual people, or there's immersing yourself in the world of love/intimacy.


Porn itself is just a tool. A cigarette is just a product. Alcohol is just a drink. Sweets are just food. Games are just games. Yet all of these things can become an addiction if used with the needy/negative intention.


Porn, most of the time, is used as a visual aid for a sexual/orgasmic release. Watching porn is basically the same as imagining someone in your head. The only difference is, watching porn leaves a trail. Some people find it shameful to watch porn. To each their own, but we should not be shaming anyone about the tools that they use.


There are times when using a tool goes a little too far. It becomes an escape. Porn gets used because it's simple. There's no pressure. There are no after affects. No one 'involved' is complaining or ruining the mood. It's easy. This is when the problems start to grow. This is where avoidance of other aspects of life start to begin. This is where people hide their porn habits for fear of some kind of retaliation or rejection.


Then there comes a time when it can interfere with life. Job performance starts to dwindle down. Social and romantic relationships suffer. Even health starts to decline, all for that sexual release. This is when it's an addiction and that person needs to seek help or join a 12 step program.


So is watching porn considered cheating? The main question is, how is the porn being used? If it's being used as a tool, then no it's not cheating. If it's being consumed/used for emotional connection, then depending on your values, yes it can be considered cheating. But it's your choice on whether or not to stay with the 'cheater' or to stay with them as they receive help from therapy or a 12 step program.


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