This week I will be counting down 5 things that alternative lifestyle relationships do that should be a part of every romantic relationship. Welcome to Day 2: Discussing Limits.
Limits are typically discussed in the beginning of alternative lifestyle relationships. Sometimes, limits are discussed on day one to determine whether or not the couple is compatible. For most people, that seems like a daunting, very personal, and vulnerable task.
Here are two terms that are useful and what they mean: Hard Limits and Soft Limits. Hard limits are things that are a for sure NO; like a ‘I’m going to break up with you’ type of no. Soft limits are things that you are not comfortable doing but with trust and security, you one day MIGHT do with the right person.
Here are some limits that should to be discussed once you get comfortable with someone and think that it might be a long term thing:
Are either of you going to be a stay-at-home for future kids?
Do you even want kids?
Living styles: nomads? city? suburbs? off-the-grid?
Marriage in the future?
What do you need to recharge and feel like you?
Monetary limits (who controls the money?)
Future job prospects/Work ethic
Each person has different limits. Each person has different gray areas where they just don’t know yet. Limits can change over time. Discussing these ahead of time with your partner will help clear the air, prevent future arguments, and/or be the deciding factor of whether or not that person is right for you in the first place.
What are some of your limits? Let us know in the FB group.